To celebrate the upcoming anniversary of everyone’s favourite social media site, I’d like to invite you to join me in a little sing song. Here, to the evergreen theme tune of the “Robin Hood” TV show is
The Sugerberg Song
Sugerberg, Sugerberg, sitting in his dorm,
Sugerberg, Sugerberg, the sophomore hub is born.
Steals from his friends to boost his IPO.
Way to go, way to go, way to go.
He came to Palo Alto, with Fakebook on PC,
Now the accidental billionaire.
His algorithms hook us with the news we like to read,
Though the stories have their roots we know not where.
Sugerberg, Sugerberg, advertisers’ friend,
Sugerberg, Sugerberg, the users never end.
At work or at home, all we need is our phone,
Never alone, never alone, never alone.
The elections prick his conscience: What monster have we spawned?
He vows that he must combat fake news.
To save our democracy we must be well informed.
Let the users decide what news is true.
Sugerberg, Sugerberg, the gas-lighting must stop.
Sugerberg, Sugerberg, thinks he’s a philanthrop.
But it’s the trolls, the hackers and the bots,
Who call the shots, call the shots, call the shots.