This post is a one-off written for a workshop on minimalist technology. I put it down to having spent rather a lot of time experimenting in Virtual Reality at work recently. I should try to get out more.
I’m grateful to Sandra Cockburn for running with the original idea.
I attended a meeting the other day, which, shall we say, lacked the X-factor; it seemed irrelevant, even slightly unreal in its strict adherence to rules despite the absence of substance. I began to switch off and, as my mind wandered, a sense of surrealism set in. Even the room in which the meeting was taking place began to feel more imagined than real. That is to say, details of architecture, furnishing and lighting began to appear incongruous, out of scale, even anachronistic. When one’s attention is caught for too long by some minor detail, the brain can start playing tricks, causing the familiar to appear bizarre, the humdrum special, as when a word repeated over and over becomes devoid of meaning and turns into gibberish.
A large mirror hung over the boardroom-style table at which we were seated and our images were reflected in it. As I gazed, however, the mirror’s reflective function slowly merged into that of a proscenium arch, inviting me onto a stage on which a parallel meeting was being enacted of which I had hitherto been unaware. Though our alter egos in the mirror were familiar and their meeting shared our agenda, their actions were no longer ours, nor were they beholden to the same protocols. And their minds were certainly not on the matters in hand.
Offstage, the dreary discussion dragged on, eyes glazed, yawns were suppressed. To my surprise, by contrast, our virtual contra figure, far from seeking to dissimulate their boredom, became energised by the lacklustre proceedings and gave conspicuous, emphatic expression to their feelings, in true thespian style.
Not content with facial expression, they conveyed their sentiments with the aid of extraordinary props: I watched in wonder as they caused bright, bold signs, messages and gestures to light up around the room as the situation dictated and as their mood took them. If a speaker’s intervention was clear and concise, the apparition would be appreciative, with clapping hands or a glowing halo beaming out from above the speaker’s head. If the speech was tedious and long-winded, the clapping mime would switch menacingly to an admonitory throat slash. The stage became alive with question marks, up- or down-turned thumbs, assorted emoticons and grimaces, liberally accompanied by snorts, guffaws and tutting sounds. This had turned into the most entertaining meeting I had attended in a long while.
“Ahem.” My reverie was broken by an impatient cough. “Perhaps Richard would like to illuminate us further…”
I jumped down from my imaginary stage and blotted the magic mirror from my mind. But as I stuttered back into real life, I swear I heard it emit a malevolent chuckle.